Why Stay At the Table?
I study and prepare and act on my beliefs. If I didn’t think I was right, I wouldn’t take action. Most of us act out of sincere belief in the rightness of our actions. This is a sign of integrity. It’s good. It is really important, however, to be aware that we may be wrong. There is always more to learn. We aren’t God. Our understandings are always limited. Keeping this mindset helps us listen to those with whom we disagree. It also helps to remember that the folks with whom we disagree are made in the image of God just as we are.
When we see Jesus in each other, it is much easier to maintain mutual respect even though we differ. I got a letter last week from a pastor in my state who has been reading the blog and clearly self-identified himself as “not in the middle.” He believes his position is the correct one for any Bible-believing Christian. What is special about this man is his reasoned approach and his willingness to engage in dialogue in a care-filled way. If I could label him a “nut” or if he was someone who raged on and on, I could ignore him. The problem is he is a brother in Christ and I respect him. [He is also doing a very good job as pastor of his church.] I must engage with him. I am a person who has never, ever liked conflict or confrontation of any kind. I deeply wish I could explain my perspectives clearly enough and listen to him carefully enough that we would come to agreement. But I’m scared to enter the dialogue for fear of the outcome. I doubt my capacity to build the bridge. But, you see, I have to try. And so I pray. Do I have the courage to “stay at the table”? If we continue the dialogue there is risk. Both of us may have some of it wrong. Talking may lead both of us to change. Sometimes we feel so safe in our clear understanding of truth. Staying open to the movement of the Spirit and respecting those with whom we engage in meaningful dialogue, can change us (and them). Will we risk it?
The other part of my fear is that this pastor and I may realize we are not ever going to agree. I feel deeply the emotion Roy Medley expressed in his Biennial address. I don’t want to be separated from the folks in this family with whom I disagree. And why don’t I want to be separated? I already told you I hate conflict. Why not have a denomination limited to folks with whom I agree (in this case it would be a teeny, tiny denomination)? The reason is, I may not be right. How can I grow without the tension? I believe I’m right but I know my mind and heart are limited. Learning and growing take a lifetime.
My prayer is that this pastor and I will both stay in the family and continue a care-filled dialogue. No ranting. No fighting. Just a steady desire to influence and be influenced under the power of the Spirit.
For me, the new middle is not wishy-washy. It is not “undecided.” The new middle keeps its focus on our mission and vision. It is also true that the new, radical middle, or vibrant middle, is composed of those who have made a commitment to stay at the table. It is composed of people with strong, clear views. But they accept they have more to learn and that learning will best be stimulated out of healthy, loving study and dialogue. But that dialogue doesn’t dominate or distract from the mission focus.
When we see Jesus in each other, it is much easier to maintain mutual respect even though we differ. I got a letter last week from a pastor in my state who has been reading the blog and clearly self-identified himself as “not in the middle.” He believes his position is the correct one for any Bible-believing Christian. What is special about this man is his reasoned approach and his willingness to engage in dialogue in a care-filled way. If I could label him a “nut” or if he was someone who raged on and on, I could ignore him. The problem is he is a brother in Christ and I respect him. [He is also doing a very good job as pastor of his church.] I must engage with him. I am a person who has never, ever liked conflict or confrontation of any kind. I deeply wish I could explain my perspectives clearly enough and listen to him carefully enough that we would come to agreement. But I’m scared to enter the dialogue for fear of the outcome. I doubt my capacity to build the bridge. But, you see, I have to try. And so I pray. Do I have the courage to “stay at the table”? If we continue the dialogue there is risk. Both of us may have some of it wrong. Talking may lead both of us to change. Sometimes we feel so safe in our clear understanding of truth. Staying open to the movement of the Spirit and respecting those with whom we engage in meaningful dialogue, can change us (and them). Will we risk it?
The other part of my fear is that this pastor and I may realize we are not ever going to agree. I feel deeply the emotion Roy Medley expressed in his Biennial address. I don’t want to be separated from the folks in this family with whom I disagree. And why don’t I want to be separated? I already told you I hate conflict. Why not have a denomination limited to folks with whom I agree (in this case it would be a teeny, tiny denomination)? The reason is, I may not be right. How can I grow without the tension? I believe I’m right but I know my mind and heart are limited. Learning and growing take a lifetime.
My prayer is that this pastor and I will both stay in the family and continue a care-filled dialogue. No ranting. No fighting. Just a steady desire to influence and be influenced under the power of the Spirit.
For me, the new middle is not wishy-washy. It is not “undecided.” The new middle keeps its focus on our mission and vision. It is also true that the new, radical middle, or vibrant middle, is composed of those who have made a commitment to stay at the table. It is composed of people with strong, clear views. But they accept they have more to learn and that learning will best be stimulated out of healthy, loving study and dialogue. But that dialogue doesn’t dominate or distract from the mission focus.
